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Reflective Essay

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This semester has allowed me to grow in many ways, not just as a writer but as a learner. When we were introduced with the question, “What does the Humanities mean to you,” I realized that a lot of times these classes are not appreciated enough for the freedom and wisdom they give you. Starting with the literacy narrative all the way to the research paper, I could not only explore myself in terms of language and how to interact with it, but I also got to expand my knowledge on subjects that I found interesting and important. Throughout the semester, I learned how to successfully draw in the audience I want to address, revised my writing carefully for grammatical errors, and express thoroughly what I wanted to convey. Class discussions allowed me to see the importance of rhetoric and how it’s used. In the last part of the semester, I got to choose a topic that I found important to write about and explore the different ways research and purpose can help successfully deliver the message that I wanted to give.

As a writer, my first instinct when beginning an essay or a paper was to go for the good old ‘introduction, three body paragraphs, and conclusion’ format. Although valid and very useful at times, when diving into genres of music or literacy analysis, this format becomes too simple and repetitive. When I wrote about topics in the art category, I realized that I had to format my writing in ways that would catch the attention of the audience and keep them attentive. In my writing, I knew I had to describe things such as paintings in ways that an artist or someone interested in visual arts would appreciate my words and would be intrigued by what I was saying. Paper after paper, I also learned to revised carefully my writing, so I wouldn’t overwrite on topics and leave grammatical errors.

In class discussions, I learned to see that the both sides of a story matter. Although I knew this from before as not presenting yourself as bias, with our class discussions, I learned to analyze situations and opinions about the same thing more in depth and make conclusions after reviewing the different scenarios. For example, when given the opportunity to learn about a music genre that interested me, I learned not to let my pass knowledge on the subject lead my paper. Trap music, the genre that I wrote about, is one that I know inside and out. When writing the paper, I allowed myself to learn even more about it and ended up finding out a lot more.  The same can be said with my experience with research about my topic on DACA. I chose the topic because it is something that is being talked about constantly but it’s not being resolved. When I learned more about what it is and what stories it carries, it gave me a newer perspective of how it can be solved and the complications it carries. Although I am still not a perfect writer, especially in the grammar side, I’ve improved in my grammar over the last semester and have gained a great deal of knowledge in writing and the humanities.

“Shiloh”: The Cycle of a Beginning and An Ending

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Bobbie Ann Mason’s “Shiloh” is a story about the battle that are seen in a relationship, what can affect it, and how it is bound to change over time. Throughout the story, we get to see and know the feelings of both Leroy and Norma Jean and how their everyday routine has changed, after Leroy’s accident. Mason uses metaphor, characterization and dialogue to show the turnout of an imbalanced relationship between the main two characters. Norma Jean’s last words to Leroy can be interpreted as a farewell to their marriage and the life they had known until then. We can see throughout the story how Norma Jean is fading away from Leroy, making herself physically and mentally stronger.

Norma Jean’s strength comes from freedom in both aspects of physical and mental superiority. The use of metaphorically comparing Norma Jean and a bird is used effectively to show that she is letting herself be free of things that were once holding her back. Mason first uses the comparison of a bird on Leroy’s rig, “It sits in the backyard, like a gigantic bird that has flown home to roost” (Mason 147). This comparison is aimed at the fact that like Leroy, the rig is there to rest and not to permanently stay. That is what Norma Jean wants and hints constantly when she presents Leroy with different job offers and ultimately states at the end with the idea that, “a woman prefers a man who wanders” (Mason 161). Leroy seem to either want to ignore certain hints that his marriage was fading away or just can’t realize that is what was going to happen. As he embarks in the journey of remembering his travels throughout his work life, Leroy realizes that, “He was always flying past scenery” (Mason 148). He is reminded of his lack of presence in things constantly when he talks about driving near Shiloh and never truly seeing it, seeing the town change drastically around him, having the memory of his deceased son fading away, and lastly, Norma Jean changing and moving on before his eyes.

Even though Leroy is a main character in the story, he makes himself a bystander in what was becoming of his relationship with Norma Jean. Norma Jean is the ultimate comparison to a bird in this story. As he is slowly concluding that the end of their marriage is inevitable, he sees how the birds, “close their wings, then fall, then spread their wings to catch and lift themselves” (Mason 154). Leroy then questions if they close their eyes like Norma Jean does when she is in bed with him. The same way she closes her eyes now when she cuts onions, as not to cry. Eventually, Norma Jean will spread her wings and lift herself up and fly away. The disconnection between the two was evident.

One of the reasons for the disconnect between Leroy and Norma Jean is the unequal distribution in strength, mentally speaking. The act of seeing his wife start to become a bodybuilder when he is disabled from an accident at his life-long job, must affect Leroy in some way. He becomes fixed on the idea of building a log cabin house for her, but Norma Jean clearly says, “I don’t want to live in any log cabin,” a statement that cannot be any clearer (Mason 153). Leroy does not vow down on his proposal, not until it is too late. He realizes the fact that his constant offer of the log cabin house was rebooted by his wife, a sign of her distancing herself way. Mason puts together these two characters to be opposing sides in intellectual intelligence and overall dominance. When speaking of how marriages are destroyed after the loss of a child, Leroy quotes Donahue, a daytime show that cannot be considered a very reliable source. “He can’t always remember where he learns things anymore” (Mason 149). Leroy is in constant attainment of information he cannot track back to a specific source. A totally different approach is seen from Norma Jean, as she finishes her bodybuilding course and signs herself up for a composition course at a community college. As Norma Jean progresses in her studies and her strength, Leroy is stagnant, with no vision of a productive future.

Arriving at Shiloh, Leroy attempts and pushes to find a way to connect with Norma Jean, but she has different plans. Leroy’s semi-epiphany at Shiloh, “Leroy knows he is leaving out a lot. He is leaving out the insides of the story,” are an example of his lack of dept as a character (Mason 162). He summarized journeys he took as a truck driver, his involvement in town, and his life with Norma Jean. Leroy could’ve anticipated Norma Jean’s conclusion, “I want to leave you,” but he was in denial that it would happen (Mason 161). His response, “No, you don’t,” are a clear sign that he was never going to accept it until Norma Jean said it (Mason 161). The dialogue between the two characters always showed Norma Jean as the superior of the two, whether talking about language or about the strength of Norma Jean’s arms. Norma Jean setting free was solely triggered by the turn out of events in her life, starting with the injury of Leroy himself.

As Norma Jean walks away from Leroy towards the river, a lot of conclusions can be made of what her hand motions mean. Norma Jeans explanation for leaving Leroy is she, “feel[s] eighteen again” (Mason 162). She continues, “I can’t face that all over again” (Mason 162). This is not a cry for help, as if she is going to throw herself into river or is exercising her arms. Norma Jean is building her life up, preparing herself for a life without Leroy. She is building her body up and taking classes at a college, looking towards her future. Those are actions of someone who wants to live. The lines, “She seems to be doing an exercise for her chest muscles,” are thoughts roaming in Leroy’s mind that are not accurate to the situation (Mason 163). Norma Jean is saying goodbye to Leroy and a farewell to the life she had known. Whether is an immediate separation or one done on a timely manner is up for the reader’s imagination to decide.

Work Cited

Mason, Bobbie Ann. “Shiloh.” Shiloh and Other Stories, Harper & Row, 1982, pp. 147-163.